From my protective bubble on the Far Eastern Shore of Maryland
Hey ,
I don’t know if you caught the news yesterday, but McDonalds lost another case where someone was burned from ordering their product.
You’d think they would have learned from the great coffee incident from 1992.
If you don’t remember (due to age, like you weren’t born yet, or due to age induced senility) McDonalds was successfully sued for burning a lady’s inner thigh with hot coffee. Hence the warning on the outside of the cup:
Caution: Contents Hot
Stupidly printed on every cup.
Yep, this lady spilled coffee in her crotch while driving and blamed it on McD’s. She was awarded $2.3 million by a jury, later reduced to $680,000.
Chicken Nugget Attacks
Yesterday, a Florida jury awarded a 9 year old girl $800,000 burned by a chicken nugget. The plaintiffs attorney used the exact same strategy as the coffee scarred lady; there was no warning on the Happy Meal that the contents may be hot.
The jury awarded the girl, $400k for damages for pain, suffering and other forms of mental anguish and an additional $400,000 for any future suffering resulting from the injury. Lawyers for the family had asked for $15 million.
To hell in a handbasket
That’s where we are going as a society.
- Hot coffee? Well no shyt! It is made with boiling water!
- Hot-unrecognizable-as-chicken-formed-nugget? Well no shyt, again. It is fried in 350 degree oil.
What happened to personal responsibility? Parental responsibility?
I remember my mother blowing on food at restaurants before giving me a bite. She knew the food was hot! No warning on the menu needed. The hot chocolate we got at the ice skating rink came from a cauldron of boiling hot chocolate. DUH! No sign warning us 8 year old’s it was hot. We knew!
Plastic bags, yep, not a toy. But any parent with half a brain knows that!
The mother of the aggrieved child hopes McD’s will now slap a warning on the happy meal box letting stupid parent know the hot-unrecognizable-as-chicken-formed-nugget is hot.
Mom should be slapped
McD’s! Really? How about something that will not contribute to her childhood obesity. I hear apples are safe.
Oh wait… maybe not. Here are recently spotted warnings for apples:
- “Warning: Do not attempt to juggle apples while riding a unicycle. Gravity and balance are not included.”
- “Attention: Consuming apples may cause an increase in knowledge and intellectual abilities. School grades may rise drastically!”
- “Caution: Biting into this apple may lead to an uncontrollable urge to break into spontaneous interpretive dance. Dance floor not provided.”
In the very near future, I predict warning labels for:
Cotton Swabs: “Do not insert into ear canal. It’s for cleaning purposes, not an ear expedition!”
Toaster: “Caution: Toasters are not suitable for use in the bathtub.”
Hair Dryer: “Warning: Do not use while sleeping.”
Rubber Bands: “Caution: Not intended for use as a wrist slingshot. Keep the office warfare to a minimum.”
Microwave: “Attention: Do not dry your pet in this appliance. Fluffy prefers the old-fashioned towel method.”
Have a safe weekend
Remember, you won’t profit unless you implement,
Vance ” ” Morris
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