From nowhere near a Walmart on the Far Eastern Shore of Maryland
Hey ,
#1 way to lose a customer?
False Imprisonment.
Which is exactly what happened yesterday.
An over-zealous-donut-eating-Walmart-version-of-Paul-Blart security employee (sorry, can’t bring myself to call him a ‘guard’ nor a ‘mall cop’) attempted to stop a customer from leaving his store by placing his rather copious belly in front of her cart.
Of course the “suspect” was a self described ‘content-creator’ who probably was itchin’ for some content and went down to her local Walmart to stir up some trouble.
Mix Paul Blart, Walmart and a social media troll…
What could go wrong?
The entire 6 minute episode was captured on video and is garnering millions of views on Twatter and Flakebook.
Why am I telling you about this trailer-trash incident?
Oh, the lessons abound! Sit back, relax, grab a Twinkee, a diet Mt. Dew and soak in the biz lessons.
#1 Want to lose a client instantly? Accuse them of stealing and falsely imprison them. False imprisonment is exactly the charge the company will be facing should she decide to pursue it.
#2 Want to get yourself killed? Stop someone who is packin’ heat or a machete and is ready to declare self-defense or stand your ground. Is a 40 thread count synthetic sheet set really worth it?
#3 What it really takes to get prospects attention. Your prospects are completely numb to boring & vanilla marketing & advertising. The only way to breakthrough and get prospects to see your message is to be wild and outrageous.
Do not underestimate the difficulty of getting your marketing message into your prospects hands.
They are too busy watching the Kardashians booty’s shrinking and growing again. Do you really think your marketing message is going to stop them from watching?
So before you send out a postcard, sales letter or your next video on Flakebook, ask yourself: Will my prospects even notice? Is this marketing piece so compelling that they will actually stop watching the cat video?
That is the enormity of your task to get new customers and clients.
Remember, you won’t profit unless you implement,
Vance “Who needs to watch reruns of ‘Suits’? I am heading to Walmart with my popcorn” Morris
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