Nincompoops to the left, nitwits to the right and a bunch of P.S.’s

By now, you know my tolerance for idiots, nincompoops, nitwits and simpletons is almost non-existent. Here is the quick version (the long version is 6 months long). My payroll company changed software back in August. On the old software, it took me about 5 minutes to enter payroll and be done with it. That 5 minutes has now stretched to daaaayyysss every week. For the last 26 weeks, their systems has been screwed up. I have gotten to the point where I just email the payroll hours to the data entry person and just let her do it. My payroll processor assures me their software works, and that it must be me. When I tell them that every other website on the planet works just fine on my computer, they don't have an answer. I have even taken to sending them video's every week of me entering payroll showing all of the error messages I get. Nuthin... Still my fault. Last week, was the last straw. I made a last attempt at entering payroll and made a video of it. Same thing, Error messages. Here is what the ingenious eggheads emailed me about the video. "The buttons need to have a full click (versus a quick, light click)" ? What the Donald Duck are you talking about? Are you seriously instructing me how to click my mouse? That is the best you have? My mouse clicking skills work on every other website known to man on the planet! But it is my fault? Obviously, they did not read their email to me before they sent it. If they had, they would have realized how utterly moronic they sounded. Sigh.... (Insert sound of all air in my body escaping) What could they do to fix the problem? Well, here are my suggestions that they have ignored.

• Apologize: Yep, I have not heard that on 26 weeks.
• Delete my account and build me a new one (too difficult on their part)
• Have someone come to my office and watch me do payroll.

As to that last point, they invited me to their office to enter payroll. Which is a 90 minute drive. Sure... inconvenience me even more. I declined and told them to come to me. The "chowda heads" declined. (Chowder Heads = idiot in New England slang) Please tell me this is not happening in your business. If you were the CEO or Owner of this business and you found out about my problem, what would you do?

Remember, you won't profit unless you implement, Vance "They need a check up from the neck up" Morris P.S. By the way, there is a great free training program coming up that yours truly is speaking on. The Do Good and Make Money event. This 8 day, 67 speaker summit is going to be profound. Check it out here: https://summit.dogoodandmakemoneysummit.com/ P.P.S. The payroll company has been great for the past 10 years. P.P.P.S. Besides, I enjoy torturing the General Manager with my emails about the nitwits working for him. P.P.P.P.S: There are so many great terms for idiot out there. My favorite is "Kinda like a 6 pack, just without the little plastic thingy to hold it all together". P.P.P.P.P.S. What's your favorite slang term for idiot? #customerservice #customerexperience #smallbusiness #clientexperience #entrepreneur #patientexperience