Recently I have been getting emails from the Money Mailer folks.
Not real mail (which they sell as a product)
Just poorly written emails./
Since I had a few free minutes in my schedule, I decided to torment the Money Mailer folks.
I called the ad rep, Gary, and began the fun
First, he begins the email with “Hi, customer”
I asked Gary about that. He said, and I kid you not, I didn’t enter peoples names, just email addresses. It was easier to just cut and paste “customer”
Strike one!
Laziness loses the sale EVERY time.
At least he could have mustered up a neuron or synapse and addressed the email with “Dear Future Direct Mail Rockstar”
In the first sentence, he poses the question “Have you prepared for the shift in consumer purchasing from offline to online due to the pandemic?”
Ummm… didn’t that ship sail back in April?
Besides, he is selling an offline product that goes through the USPS and right into the mail box. (More on that in a minute)
And my customers don’t purchase online. We have to go into the home to perform our service.
When I asked him about that, I got the dumbfounded stare that said another neuron in his noggin misfired and died.
The website was no better… It was all Money Mailer focused. No benefits, no headlines, no testimonials. Just Money Mailer this and Money Mailer that.
Actually, the email to me had his name 3 times. Here a Gary, there a Gary, everywhere a Gary.
No Vance
I guess he liked typing his own name.
Strike 2!
But the biggest lesson here for you is this: Never, and I do mean NEVER trust a company that does not use its’ own product.
Their website included this doozey… “Direct mail generates a higher response for businesses, in fact, according to the Direct Marketing Association, response rates for direct mail are the highest they’ve been in 10 years!”
Well then, why aren’t YOU using it Mr. Money Mailer?, I asked.
Gary was silent.
I could hear the snap, sizzle and pop of the synapses failing.
“We didn’t have it in our budget”
Swing and a miss!
Strike 3
And for strike 4…
The subject line was “Rake In New Customers” and there was a picture of rake and some leaves in the email. But no mention of raking in the copy.
Final lesson for the day: You must tie in your subject line in the copy of the email, as I just did in this email
