We SUCKED, but we CHANGED! And now we are the best in the industry.

If you have been around my DSNi institute long enough, you know that I preach that subject lines and head lines need to capture the attention of the reader and compel them to read the opening paragraph. What I thought was implied was .... well... not. Yes! Your subject/head line must relate to the rest of your message. Ya gotta find a way to work into the email or sales letter. Otherwise you are just teasing your reader and they will be confused and quite possibly PO'd at you. Case in point with the subject line of this email; We SUCKED, but we CHANGED! And now we are the best in the industry. This is a real subject line from a real company that sent me an email. There was only a lame attempt to tie the body of the email to the subject line. And if you are going to use a negative headline "We Sucked", you better make darn tootin' sure that you address it in your email. And for the love of all things Mickey, DO NOT USE PLATITUDES! "We are the best" is a useless platitude (a remark or statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful) that cannot be measured nor verified. Other platitudes:

• Full Service: I would hope! Who wants 78% service?
• In business for 100 years: I don't think I want a 100 year old dude fixing my chimney. Besides, "Who cares?" It say nothing about your business other than you have managed to survive a century.
• Worry Free: Yep, now I am worried
• Professional: Nah, just send me the most unprofessional schmuck you can find.

Let's look at a better way to convey your message. For "worry free", I would say “I shut down the jobsite in disgust, ripped out the entire floor, and started over again from scratch. Me and “Not Done Exactly Right” don’t get along very well" For these knuckleheads saying "we are the best"? Use this: “Who says we’re the best kitchen remodeling contractor? 650 + of our past clients, that’s who. Call any of them and ask for yourself.” Even though that subject line uses the word 'best', it goes on to make a powerful statement about their reputation. Don't be lazy (or stupid) by using platitudes. Those are for your competitors.

Remember, you won't profit unless you implement, Vance "Perry the Platypus Platitude Eliminator" Morris